dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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