I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
