I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
