how can u be prego again
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
