she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
