I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
