is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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