I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
