You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
