first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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