Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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