we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
