My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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