i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
