ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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