dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
