it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
