he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
As shirtless as possible
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
