New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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