i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
