Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
