My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
