Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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