so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just had sex bonerless
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
