I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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