Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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