Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you

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(415): View more from California

You kept trying to hail an ambulance

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(415): View more from California

And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester

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(208): View more from Idaho

booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.

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(406): View more from Montana

Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.

(1-406): View more from Montana

Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.

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(719): View more from Colorado

One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.

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(281): View more from Texas

Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous

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