Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?

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(334): View more from Alabama

The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?

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(248): View more from Michigan

Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.

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(516): View more from New York

He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue

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(925): View more from California

it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?

(864): View more from South Carolina

Smooth sack

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(+33): View more from France

Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27

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