Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
