Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
