Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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