Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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