I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
