did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
