Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
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If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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