You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
