Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
two words: eviction party
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
