Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize