i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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