Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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