there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
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Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
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I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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