He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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