She's JV to your varsity
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
