I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
