He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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