I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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