Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You pole danced in your parka.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
