I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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