Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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