somebody snuck up and got me drunk
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
