I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
