she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Too much gin, very little bucket
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
