I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
