yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Randomize
