Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
