Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
