no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's never too late to be topless.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
