I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
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Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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