Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
