I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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