watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize