cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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