Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
