my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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