whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
