The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
