Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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