Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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