there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
