You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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