Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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